four weeks of nails

girl girl girls

I'm in love with watercolors. I keep painting these portraits of odd looking alien space babes. It's so fun

Cheese and friendship and mold

In the fifth grade I did a science experiments that measured the rates of decay of different foods by measuring the amount of mold on each food. I had samples of cottage cheese, ground beef, cooked pasta and salsa. Everything got moldy. Everything decayed. The cottage cheese took the longest and my fourth grade scientific mind took that down to the pasteurization of the cheese. The sort of purification of the cheese by removing bacteria.
I wish you could see the rates of decay of friendships. I wish you could pinpoint that first moment of mold growth and go "whoa, this friendship is going bad. Its all moldy and maybe we need to sit back and talk." But friendships are not food samples in my fifth  grade science experiment. Friendships are complex and deep and intricate and beautiful.
I think what I want to say is that I hope this friendship isn't ending. I think what I want to say is that I hope we're the cottage cheese of this experience, pasteurized and long lasting. I hope we out stay the rest of this mold. I hope we last the longest.


*I'm sorry I compared us to cheese, I know that's not that cool.

Nap dreams are the weirdest.

   I took a nap in the middle of the day and had a strange dream. I was going to a party at a family friend's apartment and I was a bit older and a bit thinner.
And I was with this man, who was French who I introduced as my boyfriend Francois.
And everyone was super excited that I was at the party with a boyfriend.

   Then the dream jumped and I was in bed waking up with Francois and a naked girl sitting over me rummaging through the pockets of my leather jacket. I turned to Francois and said "Is this the pickpocket burglar? Why is she in our house?" He was so nonchalant and just said something like "Don't worry about it. You worry too much, stop worrying", in a thick French accent.
And then he told the naked pickpocket to leave and she did.
And so did I.
   I left and next thing I know I'm on a couch in a therapist's office and the therapist is Liz, from Nip/Tuck,  and she's asking, "Why do you want to skip all of this and go straight to being 30 married and boring? You have so much life right now. Why do you want to skip over it?"
I start to answer but then my alarm goes off so I wake up from the dream disoriented.



I think I should stop watching Nip/Tuck before bed
and maybe I need to stop wishing to be older
and done with all of this, whatever this is.